one of those weeks.

It's been one of those weeks.

Monday was Labor Day, which was amazingly relaxing. But Tuesday was straight up a little nutty. I had 3 heavy conversations back to back and simply wasn't quite ready to wade into them. I called a friend, who's also a pastor, and in exasperation asked "is this what we signed up for?"

The weights of the "pastor, I just wanted to let you know...." starts to add up.

The weight of illness, death, broken marriages, messed up relationships, trust abused, the list goes on.

My greatest fear is not breaking under these incremental "did you knows..." but growing callous and cold to them. To simply not care any more in my heart, or worst yet, not caring for the one sharing their news with me in my face, my non-verbal, my immediate reaction.

I fear my face revealing my heart and my non-verbals crushing their heart.

I've been reminded that it really is an honor and privilege to be the first call, the first one to share the burden outside of immediate family, to be the one trusted to break the news with.

Some have said it's a "high and holy calling" to bare such news.

And I believe it is, but my sinful nature often forgets this.

I'm learning that it's my honor and calling to hear the news, to grieve the moment, but also not to be responsible to carry the weight. I cannot walk someone else's journey for them, and their grief is not mine to own.

In fact, my greatest gift is hearing, loving, connecting and then turning not only myself but both us to Jesus, the one who said "come to me all who are weary and heavy laden," to take my burdens to him and to invite them to do so as well.

So yes, this week had some really heavy moments, moments I'd rate in the worst three of my tenure as a pastor, but this week also had some sacred moments where I was reminded, it truly is not in my wisdom and strength that the church moves froward, but in fact it's actually in my weakness he is made strong, that Jesus is clearly seen as the rescuer and the one who lifts and loves and carries us forward.

So here's to the nutty weeks, but also here's to Jesus being the hero.

and that, is very very good news in deed.

Happy weekend.